The Happy Goat

Monday Morning Goat is a new weekly feature for our THG readers.  The goal is to aggregate useful information (and some not so useful) into one post in order to help our readers get up to speed and start off their week.  Your feedback is appreciated.

HEADLINES: Google CEO leaves Apple Board, Economy (video),  Ahmadinejad,  Beijing worries about another market crash, Ford says will post July sales rise, Barclays profit, Asian stocks, Funny People $23.4 million

MARKET SNAPSHOT: S&P  987.48— DOW 9,171.61— NASDAQ 1,978.50— Gold  955.80—Oil $69.50– 1 EUR= $1.4255—Bloomberg.com—CNBC.com—BBC Business&Money—CNNMoney.com—Dealbreaker.com

10-DAY FORECAST:  NYC—Philly—Baltimore–D.C.—Boston—Chicago—Detroit—L.A.

TECH: From Fortune.com, Google Voice

THE SOUP: “Condensed Soup” (3:00)

WINNER’S CIRCLE: Phelps regains world record, Tiger wins

LOSER’S CORNER: Olbermann-O’Reilly Truce (article)

SIDESHOW NEWS: Macomb man jailed for assault after woman refuses to sell Park Place, Boardwalk in Monopoly

Fraser – A game of Monopoly has landed a Macomb County man in jail.  WDIV-TV reports the 54-year-old Fraser man was playing the board game Saturday night with a female friend when he tried to buy Park Place and Boardwalk from her.  When she refused, Fraser police Lt. Dan Kolke tells WWJ-AM he slapped her in the face, breaking her glasses.  Kenneth Anthony Repke admitted to the violence, was arrested and charged with misdemeanor assault and battery.

(Comment posted in response to the above article:   “What she should have done is sell them to him, but at a cost that would have crippled him financially. Those two properties aren’t landed on nearly enough, and are very expensive to develop, which means they recoup their value slowly. In the meantime she could have used his money to bolster her other communities and prevent him from ever getting back on his feet.  Maybe this will be a lesson to learn from.”)

Tiger breezes at Buick

90′s THROWBACK TRACK: Mark Morrison, “Return of the Mack” (3:35)

80′s CINEMATIC THROWBACK: Samuel L. Jackson in Coming to America (1:51)

LADY GAGA INTERVIEW:

SPANISH LESSON: tranquilo means “calm down”, “easy there buddy” or just ”relax”.  Use it today in a sentence with your regular office jargon.  For example, “Tranquilo, Ted.  I already completed the TPS reports late last night.  We can circle back this afternoon to discuss its contents.”

OTHER PRESIDENTS AND THEIR BEERS:

"Who's that chick in the beret?"

"Merkel... Merk--kel... sounds like Urkel."